


A Study of the Heart

by LazyWriterGirl



Series: LWG'S FE Femslash Week 2019 (March Edition) [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Rarepair, fefemslashweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 04:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18066965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazyWriterGirl/pseuds/LazyWriterGirl
Summary: FE Femslash Week 2019Day 2: HeartIn which Miriel still has things to learn about the human heart; particularly her own...





	A Study of the Heart

Miriel knows a great many facts about the human heart. As a practitioner of the healing arts, it behooves her to do so. As a scientist, it interests her on a level beyond the ken of regular healers. Here, in the peacetime following Chrom's rise to the Ylissean throne, there's little else to do for her but to learn all she can about the heart, amongst other things.

For example, Miriel knows that the average heart is about the size of an adult fist. That on average a person's heart will beat 115'000 times in a day. That in that same day, it will also pump, on average, 2000 gallons of blood. That a woman's heart, on statistical average, beats faster than the heart of a man.

She knows all this, and far more. Statistics regarding the relatively new practice of heart surgery being practiced in Rosanne have yielded a veritable mine of new information; how long the heart will beat when disconnected from the body, and the rate at which this beating slows.

Then there are also the facts that have been tested only rarely, such as that it's entirely possible—though perhaps not probable—for a person to die of a broken heart, as well, sad as that is. Still, it is knowledge regardless of the emotional connotations one might attach to such phenomena. All of it just adds up to more data, more information on the workings of the human heart.

None of it explains, at all, precisely why it is that her own heart beats far, far too quickly than might be considered normal or safe whenever she lays eyes on Anna, the merchant.

"Miriel? Are you well?"

"Yes, Robin, I am perfectly well," she says as the newlywed tactician and her wife make their way to her through the crowds. "And hello, Sully"

"Hey Miriel, nice out, huh?"

She sighs quietly, uncomfortable with the small talk though she knows that the redhead is only trying to be friendly. "It's a lovely day for a festival," she says after a moment, glad when Sumia and Cordelia join them. Granted, this does mean that she's rather the odd one out of five instead of just three, but between Sumia, Robin, and Cordelia's social graces and her admittedly odd friendship with Sully, she can't say she minds spending the day caught between two couples. "You're both looking well, Sumia, Cordelia."

The tall redhead smiles at her kindly, one arm wrapped around Sumia's waist. "Same to you, Miriel. How go your studies?"

Miriel could hug the other woman, except that she's never been one to express her emotions so outwardly. "Very well, in fact. I've been looking at a few theories regarding anima and the correlation between natural mana in a given area to the number and power of children born with magical talents." At Cordelia's encouraging nod she continues, pleased when both the other redhead and Robin ask questions, engrossed by her findings as it seems. Sumia and Sully are talking about horses as their little group wanders through the stalls. Miriel, not wanting to bore fellows, decides to drop the subject after making one closing point, then turns the conversation to how they're all adjusting to marital life.

To no one's surprise at all, Sumia can only manage a rather violent blush that matches her wife's hair. Cordelia says something appropriately lovely while lifting her wife's hand to her lips and kissing it. Robin smiles calmly even as Sully offers Miriel the naughtiest wink she thinks she's ever seen and says something that could be either perfectly appropriate or, and she thinks it far more likely, incredibly filthy. It's all rather adorable, of course, and empirically it would be interesting to see how they differ from the others amongst the Shepherds who've married recently, but before she can say as much she's interrupted. "You're all so adorable! If only there were a way to monetize such exquisite happiness! Right? I mean…ahahah, I'm just joking, Robin, don't look at me like that!"

"So good of you to join us, Anna," the tactician replies, and despite her neutral tone Miriel can see that she’s amused. "I don't believe I've had the pleasure of seeing you outside that shop of yours since we first arrived in Ylisstol."

"I second that," says Sumia, the blush lightening slightly now that the focus has been pulled off of her. "You work so hard!"

"Ah, now, now, Sumia, Robin, no need to praise me!"

"I wouldn't call that praise, Red," says Sully, laughing at how many people the nickname applies to right now, herself included. At least, based on her observations of Sully and her sense of humour, that's most likely what she finds funny. Whatever it is, Anna laughs, her smile blindingly white—a proper saleswoman's smile. Miriel smiles too, despite herself, though her heart has started up its strangely fast pace again. Is she ill, perhaps? She certainly doesn't feel lightheaded or nauseous or anything indicative of illness, but it's possible she could be mistaken.

Improbable, perhaps, given her near-flawless powers of observation, but possible.

"Maybe you wouldn't call it praise, Mrs. Grandmaster," Anna says, her grin roguish, "but I believe I shall." The merchant laughs again, not so boisterous as one might expect, but in a way that makes her entire face seem playful. Jubilant, really. Miriel's heart thumps roughly against her chest. "Praise, like gold, should be taken wherever you can get it!"

"A mildly concerning stance, one might think," Cordelia says. Robin says something similar, a note of reproach in her voice that surprises no one except for Miriel. It takes her a moment to realize that they're all just playing, jesting as one does in the company of friends. Anna winks at her almost in time with the realization that she's not sure she knows how to handle this social sort of conversation, and her heart flutters in response.

Anna again, causing all sorts of a ruckus. For Miriel at least. Oh, pesky organ! If she could but speak to her heart she would not hesitate determine the cause for these incessant annoyances! Now, wouldn't that be a grand discovery…

"Miriel?"

"Hm?"

There's the shade of something almost cunning underneath Robin's usual charming smile, and Miriel wonders what it could possibly be that she's planning. The woman is _always_ planning something, which Miriel would ordinarily appreciate, but finds rather ominous at this particular point in time. "We're going to meet up at the fountain later, but I've been meaning to show Sully something," she says, covering her wife's mouth with her hand before the woman can say something utterly foul.

Cordelia says something similar, Sumia blushing too hard to really say anything. Anna winks at her again, and again, Miriel's confounded heart flips—metaphorically, of course, as to have that actually happen might certainly be cause for concern. She decides that it's better just to leave things as they are, and the only real issue is that she gets the most vague sense of something happening. As if there's something that's going on right now and she's not privy to it.

The very idea that she shouldn't have the faintest clue what's going on in a situation is dreadful, because _realistically_ , she's one of the most astute people amongst the Shepherds.

"So it looks like they're setting us up for something, eh, Miriel?"

"I beg pardon?" She's proud of herself for not stuttering. Why is her pulse so quick, so loud? Why is it that she can't look Anna in the eyes even though there's no reason that the other redhead should make her nervous in this way?

Anna chuckles and offers an arm to her, in a movement that's both decidedly swaggering and yet oddly charming. "Come on then, Miss Miriel, let me show you a good time."

"I believe I'm rather well-versed in the phenomena of enjoying oneself at a festival," she says. After a moment's thought, she adds, "I've done a good deal of observation at such festive gatherings as this," wondering if the tinge of pride in her voice is shameful, if Anna might not think her boastful.

And why should she care what Anna thinks?

It isn't as if the merchant is particularly careful about expressing her wholehearted, honest greed on any even barely appropriate occasion.

"Ah, but that's just it! Observing is great, but it isn't living, not really," Anna says, and she has a way of saying it that feels different. Miriel has heard similar overtures from her fellows, had heard such things from most everyone in her life going back as far as her memory can go. They'd all sounded just the slightest bit pitying, as if actually living were something that, in truth, was _just_ out of reach for a strange, bookish, overly-eloquent girl like Miriel. When Anna says it, though, she sounds...kind. "Now, what's say I show you the best way to enjoy a festival, while making the smallest dent possible in your coin purse?"

She doesn't know exactly what sort of reaction Anna is expecting, but the miserly undertone makes her laugh.

Anna, to her surprise, laughs back, gently and happily as she guides Miriel along. Miriel's heart flips again, and she wonders. It seems to her that there's a possibility worth exploring on this day. And here she'd thought it a waste of precious time spent studying!

  
  


"So, what did you think?"

"I find it both highly amusing and yet rather terrifying that you seem to be adverse to spending more than a few coins, and manage to thusly alternate your plans on such short notice to ensure that your goal of spending only a small portion of wealth is met." As soon as she says it, she wants to clap her hands over her mouth, though only inwardly. She's not delicate of behaviour that she would ever deign to do such a thing in person, however, never mind the fact that such dramatics are best left in the hands of beautiful women; those much more like Sumia or Cordelia or Robin than plain old Miriel.

"Hey, you got real quiet all of a sudden. You alright?"

Anna hovers nearer to her than she's expecting, and in addition to the steadily quickening beat of her heart she's aware of a fine sheet of cold sweat forming between her skin and her thin summer robes. "Miri?"

"It's Miriel, Anna," she says. "One would think that a name such as mine would not lend itself to a shortened moniker."

"Three syllables leaves enough for me to work with," Anna says, winking again. She looks as if she might say more, except that there’s a stall selling shiny bangles and necklaces that draws her eye. Miriel, arm still linked with the other woman's, has no choice but to follow. They disconnect as they sidel up to the stall keeper.

There's a critical, appraising look in Anna's eyes that Miriel finds rather fetching, in an abstract way that makes the already lovely woman look so…by the gods! The answer to all of this mystery, how could she not have guessed? A hypothesis as to the relationship to her heartbeat and Anna…what could it possible have been aside from that she—"Thanks, mister," she hears the merchant woman say. Anna sounds so cheery that it's enough to make her lose her chain of thought.

"By the gods, you certainly look rather cheerful; what have you gone and purchased?" she asks, berating herself both for her tone and for her nosiness.

Anna winks yet again, then makes a show of tucking a little pouch into a pocket of her satchel. "Oh, it's nothing, really." She adjusts her satchel a little more before offering her arm to Miriel again. "Shall we continue our lovely little tour?"

"I don't know that this exercise in enjoyable frugality qualifies as anything even moderately resemblant of what would be defined as a lovely little tour in common parlance," she begins, "but yes, I suppose we may continue."

"Excellent," says Anna, and the smile in her eyes is even brighter than the one playing across her lips.

Miriel wishes she had brought her notebook along to make note of the reactions being produced in her heart; oh, how confoundingly imprecise this all is!

  
  


They've gone up and down the lanes allocated to the festivities so many times that, even to Miriel's organized mind, it all starts to feel like a blur. A lovely, red-tinged, happy blur.

Unlike so many people she has encountered before, Anna does not once pull a face when she speaks, nor does she cut Miriel off or insist she alter her way of speech. She even, though Miriel is not sure if she's reading Anna right, seems interested in much of what Miriel has to say.

The day passes in an admittedly more enjoyable fashion than that to which she's become accustomed, no doubt at least in part due to Anna's presence. Her heart's strangeness barely pops up in her mind, except when she notes a new possible stimulus.

By day's end, she goes from being mildly aware of a possibility to being fairly certain she knows what it is that has her feeling this way whenever Anna is near. Whenever she smiles, or laughs, or winks at Miriel with that roguish charm. Even without all her tools of empirical study readily at her disposal, she's fairly certain she's right.

It's startling and yet perfectly sensible, really, except that she can't quite see how it had all began. It isn't as if she has much experience with the emotional inclinations of the heart, after all. And she can’t say that Anna has ever shown her particular treatment, right? She doesn’t like having to question her own memory, but if such an event had ever occurred, she cannot say she remembers it.

"Were we not supposed to rejoin our comrades at the fountain?" She wonders if Anna can detect the slight reluctance in her voice. Wonders if the other redhead could guess at the meaning behind it. It would be foolish to think that these…feelings…should be reciprocated. Anna's heart couldn't possibly leap and twist at Miriel, who is plain, and rarely smiles, or laughs, and never winks.

And yet, the human heart is blind, is it not…?

Miriel shakes herself out of the reverie she's created, even as Anna says something and takes her by the hand. "Did you hear me, Miriel?"

"Hm?"

She'd say more, except that, embarrassingly enough, she cannot _quite_ bring herself to focus on more than the feeling of Anna's hand in her own. Now that she knows that this is an infatuation, or perhaps something more (she's not sure, as she's not done a thorough study on romantic and amatory relations) it would be most appropriate to, however informally, make some attempt at study on the subject. Hand-holding is a much talked-about part of romantic dalliance, is it not?

Anna's hand is cool and firm, her fingers tapping out a slight rhythm against Miriel's skin, paper dry from years of handling tomes and parchment for hours on end. She wonders at Anna's suddenness in taking her hand, and marvels at how firmly they hold each other. "Can I show you one more thing before we meet back up with the others?"

Not that she has any inclination to to refuse to begin with, but there's just something in the way Anna sounds, something soft and almost all too bashful for Miriel to associate with Anna. "Well you'd best lead the way then, Anna," she says, "lest I lose you in this veritable sea of faces."

Anna smiles, broad and unreserved, and then she pulls Miriel into the crowd and through the busy streets. Miriel can't tell where they're going until they've almost completely left the main street, and then they're turning down alley after alley, Anna turning back from time to time to smile at her. Miriel has little idea of what to expect even when Anna guides her up, up through a strange little passageway and then, quite surprisingly, she finds that they're on the rooftop above Anna's shop.

"Hey, look, there's Robin and Sully!" Anna says, and if Miriel squints she can _just_ make out the grandmaster and her paladin, huddled up close together at a stall selling some sort of pie. "They're pretty sweet, don't you think?" Anna asks. If it were anyone else, Miriel would call the tone of her voice wistful.

"Indeed. It's rather a surprise to everyone who's known Sully, as she's not usually considered an exemplary specimen in regards to healthy emotional display."

Anna chuckles at that, then falls silent. Then, after a beat, "Robin thinks I care about money too much. That while I'm great at using my head, I'm _not_ so good at using my heart." Another beat, another moment of silence. Anna shifts slightly, pushing a wavy lock of hair back behind her ear. "Sometimes, I think I have to agree."

It's unprompted and almost uncomfortably sincere, and for a moment Miriel doesn't quite know how to respond. The sound of her heart slams into her ears as she tries to find words, any words. Then, in a voice not quite her own, she says, "I do not think a head for business and a…perhaps admittedly surprising zeal and love of coin necessarily precludes the use of one's heart. In fact, I am certain of the existence of at least one example showing the truth of my supposition."

The soft smile returns to Anna's face, the expression made even softer by the glow of the late afternoon sun. "You think?"

"I certainly do," Miriel says, not sure why she's speaking so softly, or why Anna is so close, or why she can smell the syrupy sweetness of the sticky candy Anna had eaten earlier.

Anna's lips are sticky, still, but Miriel leans into the kiss regardless, conscious of how strangely pleasant it all feels. The other woman's movements are a little too quick, slightly erratic, but Miriel feels that they manage well enough. It's not until they pull away from each other that she understands the breathless, heady sensation she's heard so much, read so much, about. "I wouldn't happen to be that example, would I?" Anna asks, head tilted coyly to the side as she watches Miriel's face.

Miriel, not normally desirous of being so close to other people, allows herself to take Anna's face in her hands. "I should hope so. The use of your heart has proven a most interesting topic of study when approached in conjunction to the use of my own."

Anna sighs, and it's far more damsel-like than anything Miriel's ever heard from her. Her heart flutters at the sound. "You know, you make a girl feel like a million gold," Anna says, and there's just the barest hint of that familiar greedy gleam in her eyes. "Oh! I have something for you, by the way," she says, sitting up straight so that she can pull the pouch from earlier out of her satchel. Reaching into it, her hand comes away with a delicate gold chain with a simple heart charm strung along it.

"Forgive me if this seems amiss in the face of the relative jubilant nature of this newfound, happy circumstance, but I cannot imagine that you purchased this lovely little bauble with the intention of presenting it to me."

Anna's soft smile only grows as she leans in again to place a quick peck on Miriel's cheek. "Ah, blazes, my girl's too clever for me!" She  winks that same wink that Miriel has grown more and more enamoured with throughout the day, keeping close as she says, "I got it down to fifty gold and figured I'd sell it for five hundred, at least but…well, the way it looks around your neck? I _might_ like that more than money." She pauses, smiles, then adds, "Well, almost!" She backs away with a laugh, admiring Miriel the way an artist would her work.

Miriel chuckles and places a hand against the little charm, just above where she can feel her heartbeat thrumming faster as Anna leans in to kiss her again.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm essentially mixing up femslash week and rarepair week, which I never participate in but should.
> 
> Here we've got Day 2, and people have actually seen me post for these two before! Hit me up [on Tumblr](https://lazywritergirl.tumblr.com) if you wanna, I'll take requests/listen to you about whatever/or just answer whatever questions you may have cuz I...don't talk to people in real life about my writing.


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